Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
