we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
