My nipple is on Facebook.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
