Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
