Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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