chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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