she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
