So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
