We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
