It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
