talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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