you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
