The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize