1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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