did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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