check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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