sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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