Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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