So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
