we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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