I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
