There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
