Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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