i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
