i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
