WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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