They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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