Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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