i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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