Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize