I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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