oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The beer is more important than you right now.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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