My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
