Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
