Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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