Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
