I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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