Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ketchup is God's man juice
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
