That's intense
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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