What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
