I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
