i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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