I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish life had little blips of pornography
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
