Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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