So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Green mimosas i think yes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
