So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
