Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
