From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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