We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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