Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
