i barfeds in our rink
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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