as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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