How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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