I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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