she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize