only if we run a train.
done.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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