My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
