I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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