a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize