i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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