trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
